The figure skating star sat down with Meryl Davis for the Olympic Channel Podcast on the first anniversary of PyeongChang 2018.
The triple axel is a big deal – especially in the United States.
The 25-year-old was passed over for Sochi 2014 and, at that point, she was done with figure skating.
“I did want to quit... I was super over it,” Nagusu said to the Olympic Channel podcast.
Instead of giving up, she changed coach and dedicated her life to the triple axel.
“I (find) the way someone responds (to adversity) is actually what I admire about them.”
Olympic champion (and friend) Meryl Davis sat down with Nagasu to talk about possible retirement, triple axels and the 2018 Winter Olympics.
Q. I remember you missing Sochi 2014 and, as a friend, I remember being so disappointed for you. It was a difficult situation. Can you take us back to that point?
In simple terms: it was rough. It wasn’t fun. In California, I am sure you know now you are a California resident, you drive a lot. And driving is when I let my emotions out a lot. And, I know cars aren’t sound proof, but I would be driving to the rink and all of a sudden I would listen to a song and just my emotions would hit me and I would be balling.
It was kind of therapeutic for me to get my emotions out. But, at the same time, it wasn’t just one good cry and then I was over it. It was many drives. It took years for me to become a better skater but I did want to quit skating.
I was super over it - Mirai Nagasu
I used to think when it initially happened. Like, ‘Woe is me. Nothing like this happens to anybody else. I deserve to sit here in my puddle of tears and cry.’ But, I started to look at other athletes’ careers… I found that it was the way someone responded was actually what I admired about them.
Q. How did you formulate a plan and really take those next steps?
I was asking the people around me, ‘What am I doing wrong? Why can't I make it? Why do I get to competition and mentally crumble? I thought I was mentally strong.’ And they would say their little piece and I would think I don’t think I really learned anything from that.
So, I asked coach Tom Zakrajsek for a lesson. And he took that for a try out for a coaching change. He says I said, 'I want to learn a triple axel. Teach it to me.' He didn't have girls – women - who were asking him to try jumps that most girls weren't willing to try.
Q. Can you talk to me a little bit about the important relationships that you have built through your experiences though skating?
I think that skaters a kind of a rare breed in that we are a bit difficult to understand. I feel like (that’s the way in the) ladies especially with having to compete against each other… It is sometimes hard to take comments that (people) make well. But, at the same time, there is no one else going through that or the type of training where you are training every day.
Q. And no one quite understands the highs and the lows like the people who have been there. And so sharing this unspoken bond with people who get it is something that we will have for the rest of our lives.
Sometimes though, it is hard to feel that skating that is all you have… I have watched Michael Phelps do interviews and he was like, after the Olympics, ‘Swimming is all I knew and who I was as a person’. And that was depressing and scary and I’ve thought about that too. But I found an outlet for that. I continued my education to find out what I am good at. I am not going to be able to skate (professionally) for the rest of my life – (although) I will probably be that adult skater who will be there when I am like 80 years old… But, at the same time, I want to know what else I love.
Q. And taking the injury into account and the successes are you thinking about returning to competition? Is that something you are leaving open?
People keep asking me that but I am stuck in this jello like slowly, slowly recovering. It's hard to make a decision like that when I can't even do the elements. Even if I wanted to compete again my body is like, 'Hold up, girl. It's time for rest still.'
I feel like I am floating in jelly - Mirai Nigasu
And recovery is really difficult... It's been months now and I still can't do my triples... Mentally I am doing them but physically I am just not prepared and it's also just another thing to look at. Athletes like to rush back in and I have been really cautious of that.
Mirai Nagasu was this week’s guest on the Olympic Channel podcast.
We speak to athletes, and others involved in sport, about the biggest Olympic talking points.
The interview and questions were shortened to make them easier to read.